Coming to another country different from the west, there are bound to be differences in the way the public runs. Some aspects are positive, while some are negative. However, every country has their own positives and negatives socially. There are a few differences socially in particular any visitor would surely come across when visiting South Korea from the United States. These aspects include, personal space, rudeness, minding your own business, driving culture, and surroundings at any given time.
The first difference I noticed in South Korea was that the personal space is different. Back in the United States, people always give a feet or a few feet distance away from each other. For example, when waiting for the crosswalk to turn green, or while waiting at the bus stop. The first time I encountered this difference was when I was waiting at the bus stop. It was a little crowded so I went to a corner where there was less people. Shortly after, someone just stood right in front of me, and I remember thinking that there were literally other empty spaces other than right in front of me. I noticed that people are just so used to being close to each other here, which must be because the country area is so small and there is always way more people at one place at a time. There is also the fact that some people are a little impatient or in a rush so they go really close to the person in front of them while waiting, thinking that it would change the outcome of their arrival slightly. Over time, I realized when I keep distance from the person in front of me while waiting, someone would just go in front of me and take that empty space anyway. I actually ended up adapting to doing standing close to others as well, and I just hope I remember to keep my distance again once I get back home, or else people would be looking at me weirdly for being so close.
In addition to personal space, crowdedness is nothing I had ever seen before (not an exaggeration). I take the bus going to school, and it is always so incredibly packed. It plays a part with the personal space topic because people willingly stand shoulder to shoulder or back to back. They would even squeeze themselves to an already considerably crowded and packed bus. I know for a fact back home where I live in the United States (Hawaii), people wouldn’t naturally go into a bus that can get as packed as it is here. People rarely stand in the busses in Hawaii. There are only certain busses that go through the campus at Seoul National University. In the beginning of the semester, I actually had tried to wait for a bus to come that was not packed, however, classes in certain buildings seem to usually happen on the same days, so it was hard to avoid. So yet again, over time, I had adapted and I indeed go into those packed busses like it is normal (same also goes for the subway). It may be considered normal in South Korea since personal space doesn’t exist much to begin with. I had gotten used to it. I went from being uncomfortable and confused, to accepting this aspect as part of just the way things are here and join along.
Thankfully, before coming to South Korea, I had read a few blogs of people who gave some warnings on what to expect that is different socially. Though I knew almost all the things that were different, experiencing it can still slightly startle you. People can be very kind and helpful to you, but there are certain things that could be considered rude back in the United States, but seemingly normal in South Korea. I consider it a sort of “excused rudeness”, because people usually don’t react to it. One would be the shoving. As I have said, it is always crowded and people are always trying to get places. People do not say “excuse me” (in Korean) or give any warning that they want to go through. They will squeeze themselves to either side of you and push their way through. There are still times when they do say “excuse me”, but mostly in places that aren’t pathways to get to a certain destination, such as a cafe or restaurant. Since I was already aware about this aspect though, I never took these shovings personally and just continued along my day. However, I remember one of my friends who is also from the United States who came to South Korea, she told me about how she felt someone who shoved her trying to get through was rude, and I had reassured her that they normally do that here and that it usually isn’t very personally directed towards us.
Another aspect of “excused rudeness” would be not holding the door open for people behind you usually. I think this is just part is specifically compared to the state of Hawaii, where if we open a door to a public space, we look behind to see anyone walking towards the door, even if they are 7 feet away from us, we hold it open for them while walking in, and remember to say “thank you” to the one who held opened the door for you. I know that it may not be too common in the United States mainland, but it is a very common etiquette in the state of Hawaii. The fact that people rarely open the door for others in South Korea doesn’t bother me too much since opening a door is not a very hard task, but I felt that I had needed to adapt not holding the door for others (specfically strangers) that are a few feet away as well, thinking that they may have the thought that it is weird and think, “Why is this person holding the door while I am so far, do I know them?”. I had come to the realization, that the people here usually just hold it open for their friends or someone directly behind them, but not a few feet away.
Relating to both personal space and “excused rudeness” are people who cut you in line. This aspect in particular may play a part in the way things are. If you are not very close to the person in front of you, it is likely someone could cut you in line. I wouldn’t say it is excusable, but it apparently is excusable for the person who is cutting in line. People cutting me in line had happened maybe around five times. The bus stops by the Seoul National University subway station has people lining up, and people had cut in front of me maybe twice. Though I didn’t like it, I didn’t do anything about it because it wouldn’t do much of a difference in any outcome. However, there also had been times I had been cut off while waiting to purchase things. These situations kind of force you to give up personal space, and so I went from also keeping distance in lines (which I considered normal), to standing directly behind the person in front of me or else someone could possibly take the empty space in front of you as an opportunity to get in line. However, I still don’t know the reason behind why some people think cutting in line is an okay thing to do in South Korea. It definitely would not be something I would adapt doing, even if others are doing it.
One thing I greatly appreciate is that people do not steal in South Korea. I have never felt so relieved in my life for needing to go to the restroom while in a cafe, concert stadium, or any other public place alone. Back home in the United States, or specifically Hawaii, though people are holding the doors open for others, you would still need to keep your guard up about your personal belongings. I would usually go to the restroom very anxiously and just hope my things are still on the cafe table. I was very surprised to hear that sometimes, in South Korea, people would leave their things in a cafe and after go outside somewhere totally different, then come back and their stuff would still be there. I remember seeing a video where someone did an experiment where they left their backpack and airpods next to it near an outside public seating area (or stairs) in Hongdae in the afternoon, then they came back a few hours later, and their backpack and airpods were still there. I remember also seeing that there is a Baskin Robbins shop in South Korea that has no workers. People walk in, pick their ice creams, and self-checkout themselves. The fact that if they were to put that same Baskin Robbins shop in the United States, it would be empty due to stealing within a couple of hours. Stores in South Korea also sometimes keep their stock outdoors, whether it be shipments of food, or one time I remember seeing a video of multiple television screen shipments left outside. Again, if they were to leave their television shipments outside in the United States unsupervised, people would again, steal it. It really amazes me how people in South Korea keep that morale with them and don’t have the temptations for their own greed. It is shocking that people mind their own business to that extent. This aspect of South Korea social culture is the one I appreciate the most.
Another major difference is the driving culture in South Korea. South Korea driving culture is honestly very crazy and wild to me. It feels as if they are all driving thinking they are playing a driving video game. I took the taxi a few times and considering the many steep hills there are here, along with the drivers’ incredibly fast speed, I was on the verge of flying out of my seat (not exaggerating). I have motion sickness as well, so I only took the taxi when I really needed to. The first aspect one may notice about their driving is that they honk easily (this aspect may also be just specifically comparable to the state of Hawaii (as it may be more common in the United States mainland). If another car is trying to change lanes, they will honk. If the car in the front is waiting for a good time to join the main road, the car behind them will still honk. If a car is considerably “slow” to react to the change of traffic lights, they will honk. South Korea has most honks I have ever heard. South Korea drivers also go very close to pedestrians and crosswalks. It used to startle me a lot when I first got to South Korea. I always used to think, “Why are the cars so close to the crosswalk?”, and wish for the drivers to calm down. Personal space doesn’t seem to exist with cars either, even with the fact that it should be a much more careful situation. Same also goes for the many motorcycles. Just like people walking the streets, it seems that the drivers are also always trying to rush to get to places. Hawaii drivers would always keep a far distance from the crosswalk and rarely honks.
The last difference is the way it is at night. People often say they feel safer at night in South Korea, and I agree myself. Mostly because of the fact people are still around even late at night. Back in the United States, we’d usually have to aim to get home before the sun goes down for safety terms. Plus, the streets do tend to get way more empty once the sun goes down. It is possible that you could be walking outside at night, but not see any other person walking in sight. Yet in South Korea, not once have I ever seen the night main street be completely empty without another person also walking. Many people, even those my age are still walking around at night. For the first time, I would/could often take the bus/subway later than 10:00 P.M. I remember hearing the phrase that South Korea’s night never sleeps and I feel that it does quite resonate. In addition to people still being around at night, also the fact that the problems back in the United States that are the reason people try to get home early, are not very likely here as well. I almost allow it to cancel the fact that people had cut me in line or shoved, because it is not that bad of a problem when compared to the issues in the United States. I feel that I have much more time in a day in South Korea because I don’t have to exactly stop what I want to do just to get home before the sun goes down. I also feel so much more relieved to just live life normally without constant worry of my surroundings. However, it does not mean that people should let their guard completely down, that if there is something suspicious they should be cautious, but it is definitely much more at ease here.
Though there many differences between the United States and South Korea socially, it is just a matter of the way they both had been brought up over time. I’ve lived in the United States (Hawaii), all my life so I had gotten used to their social ways and norms. However, South Korea in particular has a special sense of togetherness, yet un-togetherness that I have never witnessed before. A special mix between respect and no respect, but the no respect aspect isn’t too much of a big deal when compared to “no respect” in the United States. I actually feel that the United States problems in regards to “no respect” is on a much bigger scale, while South Korea’s problems is like a grain of salt or maybe even an atom. South Korea’s shoving and cutting in line are bearable and not much of an inconvenience compared to people spitting on you, stealing a coffee directly from your hand, and peeing in the subway trains in New York (according to three different TikTok videos I had scrolled passed). For the crowdedness, you just have to get used to being a personally close distance to people. As for the cars and motorcycles, you’d just have to adapt to getting used to them being close as well (and maybe being a little more cautious before walking), and with the fact that they all seem to be in a rush (constant honks and driving speed).
Spending the past few months in South Korea really opened my eyes to a different world people live in and how they all deal with each other’s presence while being at the same place at the same time. As my study abroad semester in South Korea almost comes to an end, I can conclude that every day life is much more easier in South Korea. Despite different languages, it is exhausting living in the United States having to be in fight or flight mode the majority of the time you step outside your house. I respect the way South Korea had build themselves to be the way there are socially with each other. People can truly live their lives more in harmony and focus on what they really want/have to do. There may be a few pushes or impatient people, but it is easily pardonable. For the first time, I am in a place where I don’t have to expect a daily major inconvenience. All that in itself, the difference of the United States and South Korea socially is one of the main reasons I want to come back to South Korea long-term in the future.
Comments